Blue Sky on Blue Monday

Last Friday was the first sunny day in a long time. It is January, of course. Tough thoughts under the steel-colored sky are natural, right? It is always darkest before the dawn, just don’t take it too seriously. It’s just clouds, nothing else…

Although “Blue Monday” is just a marketing ploy by a travel company, every new year often begins with a blue mood. I’m not sure if the original equation of debt, salary, weather, time since Christmas and New Year’s resolutions (how can you even compare these in math?) is plausible. But I am sure that at the turn of the year, people experience sadness, anxiety and even depression–not only those who are clinically diagnosed, but many of us.

At first, I encountered depression vicariously in my teenage years. I was curious and fascinated. After all, everyone wants to be “psycho” when listening to metal and going to college, right? (Unfortunately that dismisses those who are struggling with serious health issues during the “the awkward age”.) But the time for playing ends when you grow up. And as an adult I had an opportunity to experience the depression and anxiety firsthand.

For around twenty years, I have tried various therapies, from cognitive-behavioural to gestalt, yoga, meditation, and finally–medicine. When sadness is clinical, persistent, and exhausting, there’s nothing romantic about it. And you are pissed off by people who are pushing hard to sell their whatever, exploiting depression–just like Sky Travel forcing people to spend money for happiness. No, that’s not going to work. Especially when the prevalence of clinical anxiety and depression (not just “blue moods”) in Western societies is deeply rooted in our socio-economic system of performance and competition, as Mark Fisher brilliantly explained. It’s a political issue, and you should beware of turning the illness into part of your personal brand.

After all, he struggled with depression as well. His own experience with the illness doesn’t bring much hope (he took his own life eight years ago in January).

So–it is January. The clouds are heavy, but the last Friday sun was shining. Finally. At least, there could be hope. I have tried a lot and I know that you can recover even from your clinical condition. It is not easy and you need people around you, experts and time, but–yes. There is a journey through a deep forest, but you can walk uprightly and with self-confidence. (And the first advice is–find an expert, a therapist or doctor, and speak about your feelings)

For the most of the population, the situation is much more promising. Because when it is not just one relapse in a long chain of eclipses, you could be experiencing what is called “Seasonal affective disorder“. Usually starting in fall and lasting during winter, you loose your energy, clear vision and perspective.

The clouds are heavy, but–indeed–every cloud has a silver lining. And I have a very good experience with these self-help instruments for impregnating your spirit: exercise (especially workout and running), meditation (I really love free Healthy Minds app!), doing art (start something new–shooting photos, painting, writing poems or drama…), keeping a journal. And–being with people.

That is just my experience and a hopeful message for those of you, who suffer under the yoke of January. But don’t forget–if you are not sure what is happening or don’t know what to do, it’s not shameful to ask for help. Check out your local therapists! You are worth it.

And then, as we regain our energy, we can fight the political struggle to improve the conditions for everyone and tackle the epidemic of anxiety and depression.

And maybe even enjoy January again.